Making the Switch: Moving in with My Girlfriend

Moving In With Girlfriend

foam party2That’s right, this is an article that will retrace the steps I took when I wanted to move in with my girlfriend. Needless to say, we didn’t last very long after we had actually moved in together. I really did think that we would be the perfect fit, or else I wouldn’t have let her move into my apartment! It’s almost like the minute she moved into my house, everything changed. I know there are people that have talked about this subject beforehand, but I wanted to share my variation of this (way too commonly told) story. Now, it takes a big man to have love for a woman. Women will always show their affection, it’s just how they work. Men have a tendency to keep things bottled up inside, but when they come out, they either come out in the wrong way (like trying to feel happy, but looking as if you were “off your rocker”). My girlfriend would be the complete opposite, as she actually takes care of her emotions like a man.

foam_atx_day1-37_copy-600x600Whenever you ask if something is wrong and you hear that dreaded “No”, you know there is some stuff about to go down. Women don’t just say no when you ask them if something is wrong, if something isn’t actually wrong, they’ll play it off as a joke or something. This is coming from personal experience, women will let you know when there isn’t something wrong – but they’ll give you the exact same answer when something is wrong. Confusing? Yes, to say the least; but that’s what we get for working the way nature had intended us to. I thought my girl was going to be the positive vibes in my otherwise depressing life, because things were getting pretty boring! My 15-year old dog had just died, so I was really vulnerable at the time. I suppose you could say I was reaching out for help in a sense, except as soon as I realized what was going on, I felt the need to break everything off.

When you move in with somebody, breaking up with them is ten times harder. When you take into account the fact that we had only been living together for a few weeks, it’s going to make things even more awkward. Before she took part in the “last straw”, she was being pretty obnoxious. She would do things like:

Call me stupid whenever I forgot to close the lid of my toilet – notice how I said “my” toilet!

Argue about the silliest things – things like how she should have been first through the door at a restaurant (yeah, it was quite petty to say the least)

Fart whenever I was around – it sort of seemed like she was trying to prove a point at time, like she wanted me to “learn and love” her farts (which I wasn’t about to do)

The Final Straw 

Have you ever thought about your spouse cheating on you? Well, I didn’t. I never thought that my girlfriend (well, now I can refer to her as my ex-girlfriend) would have the audacity to bring another man into my apartment. Want to hear the kicker? She wasn’t even paying any rent. That’s right, she essentially lived off om paycheck for a couple of weeks and then decided to risk it all by having another guy in my bed (not our bed, it’s mine – I bought it with my own money). It’s a Foam Nights selection as well, so at least she was comfortable while betraying my trust.

Anyways, I walked in on her (and him) after a long day at work, just like most of the movies would permit. I never actually thought about it like that, but it was pretty much a movie scene when I walked through the door. I didn’t yell and I didn’t put up a fight, I simply told the guy she was with to grab his clothes and leave. After that, I started packing up her clothing (and all other personal items) one by one. She kept asking me what I was doing, and that she was sorry for hurting me. She was also trying to say that he was “just a friend giving me a massage”, which is a pretty laughable excuse.

I kicked her out of my house and didn’t look back – last I heard she was dating some stoner who lives in Brooklyn. You win some, you lose some!